The ReLationShips

Isn’t that word sounds pathetic or boring or disgusting or maybe I should say what most of us says “Relationship, it just sucks!!” or “Don’t have time for this”. The real question is Why are the relationships so hard today? Why do we fail in love every time? Why we as a human suddenly became so inept at making relationships last? Have we forgotten how to love? Or worse forgotten what love is?

It’s because, it’s not love that we look for in a person, we look for excitement and thrill in life. We want someone to watch movies & party with, not someone who understands us in our deepest silences. We spend time together, we make memories and then it gets faded as fast as they came. We don’t want partner in our life, just someone who can make us feel alive right now and not a single second more than that. I am not saying that there should not be an excitement or thrill or adventure but as the excitement gets fade, we discover nobody ever prepared us for the mundane. We don’t believe in the beauty of predictability because we’re too blinded by the thrill of adventure.

And the thing with our generation is We’re not prepared much. We’re not prepared for the sacrifices, for the compromises, which is necessary for the unconditional love and “forever kind of relationships”. We’re not ready to invest all that it takes to make a relationship work. We want easy. We’re quite a quitter when it comes to relationships especially the one who gets in a relationship in the past which sadly doesn’t worked out so well and hence for them “Relationship sucks” (which is funny actually, at least for me). All it takes is a single hurdle to make us crumble to our feet. We don’t let love grow, we let go before time.

We seldom have a talk with our partner, all we do is a small conversation and that’s it. I mean how you could possibly make a good connection without even having a “Real Talk”. We forgo any chance of achieving real connection by mutually playing games with no winner. Competing for “Most Detached” and “Best at Being Emotionally Unavailable”, what we end up actually winning is “Most Likely to Be Alone”.

Here is a pick from one of the Article I read “We want the facade of a relationship but we don’t want the work of a relationship. We want the hand holding without an eye contact, the testing without serious conversations. We want the happily ever after, but we don’t want to put the effort in the here and now. We long for that world series kind of love, without being willing to go to bat.” 

We don’t want relationships- we want “Friends with Benefits” and “No Strings Attached” and these kind of relationships, all they give us the illusion of a relationship, without being in an actual relationship. Sometimes we do want to connect (truly), we try but not too much. And what about the Commitment? We want to commit but A LITTLE- BUT NOT A LOT. We take it slow when it comes to the real part, real responsibilities but for the “other things”, we kind of just rush into that without thinking for a second. We keep one foot out the door, keeping an eye open, toying with their emotions but most of all toying with our own emotions.

We look for instant gratification in everything we do – the things we post online, the careers we choose, and the people we fall in love with. We want the maturity in a relationship that comes with time, the emotional connect that develops over years, that sense of belonging when we barely even know the other person. Apparently, nothing’s worth our time and patience – not even love. We’d rather spend an hour each with a hundred people than spending a day with one. We believe in having ‘options’. We’re ‘social’ people. We believe more in meeting people than getting to know them. We’re greedy. We want to have everything. We get into relationships at the slightest attraction and step out, the moment we find someone better. We don’t want to bring out the best in that one person. We want them to be perfect. We date a lot of people but rarely give any of them a real chance. We’re disappointed in everyone. Our physical presence has been replaced by texts, voice messages, snap-chats and video calls. We don’t feel the need to spend time together anymore. We have too much of each other already. There’s nothing left to talk about. 

We’re a generation that calls itself ‘sexually liberated’. We can tell sex apart from love, or so we think. We’re the hook-up-break-up generation. We have sex first and then decide if we want to love someone. Sex comes easy, loyalty doesn’t. Getting laid has become the new getting drunk. You do it not because you love the other person, but because you want to feel good. It’s all the temporary fulfillment we need. Sex outside relationships isn’t a taboo anymore. Relationships aren’t that simple anymore. We’re a scared generation – scared to fall in love, scared to commit, scared to fall, scared to get hurt, and scared to get our hearts broken. We don’t allow anyone in, nor do we step out and love anyone unconditionally. We lurk from behind walls we’ve created ourselves, looking for love and running away the moment we really find it. We suddenly ‘cannot handle it’. We don’t want to be vulnerable. We don’t want to bare our soul to anyone. We’re too guarded.

We don’t even value relationships anymore. We let go of the most wonderful people without putting any efforts to save it. How could we possibly do that even after knowing that We will never ever going to find someone like them and that is for sure. Of course, there will be someone else taking their place, memories going to fade away, you will be going to stop thinking about them eventually, but could you stop remembering them ever? No..you could not because in the end when you lose somebody, every candle, every prayer, every tear, every wish, is not going to make up for the fact that the only thing that you have left is a hole in your life where that somebody that you cared about used to be. But sadly, even after knowing all of this we do let that person go without giving them chance to explain, without even thinking for a second, we can’t step aside our anger for a moment to think, all we do is make rash decisions, this is not so good. (Unless someone really messed it all then it’s obvious).

We sit with our friends (real ones) discussing about these things, asking for advice to how to approach these kinds of things but the fact is everyone is different, their perspective is different, whatever happened or whatever you will going to decide further is up to you and the true thing is no one even knows how the “RELATIONSHIP” works. Because the problem with us not wanting relationships is that, at the end of the day, we actually do. And so,

If you love someone, cherish it,
 love them completely, 

Say it, show it, most importantly meant it.

Life is finite and Heart is fragile.

Just because someone is there one day, they might not be the next day.

Never take anyone for granted.

Say what you need to say, then say a little more.

Love her the way you want to, show her how much she meant to you.

Care for her, Respect her, 
Share things, Exchange lots of Hugs n Kisses, Put your trust in each other, Eat pizza together, Watch fav. shows n movies.

Grow Together. Laugh Together. Love Together.
Love each other way too much.

Because,

Everything is temporary but love..

Love outlives us all..

Happy Valentine’s Day !!